Sometimes, I forget that I’m not God.
I clinch my fist so tightly around life’s circumstances and experiences, claiming them as my own and declaring my unending control.
Why don’t you trust Me? He whispers to me… quickly reminding me that my hardened heart and desire for control is nothing short of lack of faith. I quickly thrash my head from side to side, looking for someone to blame for this faulty heart… but nobody is near. Just me.
And I break. Again.
Then, when I scrounge to pick up my shattered pieces, I commit. I think “Work harder” or “Pray more” or “Read your Bible”, because surely a harder work ethic will fix everything and I’ll be made right and I’ll feel better because hard work has always gotten me through the thick stuff.
But then I hear Paul’s words lingering in the back parts of my heart.
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9 NLT
I read of the Gift. Then, the one who tries to destroy my hope sneaks into my thoughts and twists the words around, allowing the guilt to settle in. But the True words are hidden in my heart and I speak them in the quiet of my living room.
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 NLT
I speak it, I preach it and I pray it to myself, fighting against the one who tried to steal my joy.
And my heart makes a sharp turn, back to the things I try to control. After being shown the Truth, my response is different. My actions have changed. I hold up the things I desire to control: My friends that hurt. My son who is changing faster than I want to. An uncertain future for our family… and I slowly lessen my grasp and ease the burden off of my shoulders onto Christ, who tells me:
Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
So, today is a day of thankfulness. I’m thankful for the Truths that I have buried in my heart. The grace that has been given to me in spite of my shortcomings and sin. The promise that I am not condemned. The reminder that I don’t carry my burdens alone.
What are YOU thankful for this Thursday?
211. I was able to fly away for a weekend to be with a friend who needed me. 212. When I ask, “Promise me, no matter how hard things get, you’ll never walk out”, my husband replies “I already promised you that four years ago.” 213. Advanced copies of great books to read. 214. The way a simple email from a friend can change my outlook on the day. 215. When Rowan gets hurt, Mommy can always make it better. 216. Good neighbors who return a digging and escapist dog. 217. Fresh sweet corn on the cob, straight from the farm. 218. The way God’s Truth can seep into my heart deeper than anything. 219. Double Stuf Oreos dipped in ice cold milk. 220. I have no idea what the future holds, but I know that He is good.
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I’d love to hear what your thankful for every week. Will you share with me?
I love your husband’s answer to that. I think it’s obvious that a lot of spouses forget that promise we made before God and all of our families & friends.
We’re raised to be independent and take care of ourselves and we forget that God made us that way to glorify Him, not deny Him or not need Him. You’re right that Satan loves to twist our thoughts away from the Truth. We’re so blessed to have it in writing and be able to pull it out whenever we need it. You’re in our prayers today.
I have the hardest time of letting go of control! God can move us in amazing ways when we do reliquish that control!
Peaceful wishes,
Melissa
“These things I have spoken so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have conquered the world.”
Seems like I was having the very thoughts this week
BTW… I am so thankful for double stuffed oreos and ice cold milk as well…. YUMMMM
Remember… your dad and I made that pact 30 years ago . Will be 30 in Nov.
I never dreamed your Dad would stop eating them…
Good neighbors are somebody you will entrust.. even when times are tough.. whether its kids or pets! if in fact they are truly “good” neighbors.
and remember OREO s were a STAPLE in the home you grew up in… its been over a year and half since I bought oreos… kinda sad actually..
Ha! Love you sweet!
this spoke right to my heart today, nish!! thank you for your words & your display of thankfulness.
love